As YouTube channels, blogs, Instagram accounts, and other online platforms become increasingly common places to share our art careers, niche writing becomes more and more common.
Writing, modeling, hosting channels, and producing other art for plus-sized women is a popular niche, or focus. Most of my characters are thick/plus sized, and I appreciate all of the examples and inspiration. But there are a few things I wish plus size models, bloggers, YouTubers, singers, fiction writers, and anyone else producing any form of art intended for thick women would stop doing.
Using the term “body positivity.”
The words “positive” and “positivity” have gotten overused to the point that I cringe at them. Everything we find pleasing in any manner these days is “positive” and anything that we find displeasing is “negative.” The English language is going to consist of about seven words if we keep this up. “Body positivity” is particularly nerve-grating because it stems from that whole “I’m beautiful because everybody is beautiful” attitude, which really means you think your looks don’t stand out in any way. If “everybody” is beautiful to you, then you are literally physically attracted to everyone of the gender or genders you are attracted to, and admire the appearance of everyone of your gender. This is ridiculous, and so is screaming “body positivity!” every time you look at your own body. Just go ahead and accept it that some people think you’re hot.
Listing our perceived flaws then talking about how much we love our bodies.
Every meme, essay, or comment from a thick woman does not need to include the words, “I may have cellulite…I may have stretch marks…my thighs touch.” You don’t see thin women posting shots of themselves in bikinis and lingerie with the caption, “My ribs may stick out….my legs are the same shape from hip to ankle…my spine may be visible from a distance…there is little curve to my midsection….”
If you seriously and honestly dislike something about yourself, that’s fine. We’re allowed to have opinions about our own figures. But this type of behavior just tells people you don’t find yourself attractive, but you’re trying to force yourself to like your own appearance. Why not pick out things you actually do like, and focus on those instead? Some people even think those things you list as “flaws” are great features.
Accusing everyone who doesn’t think we’re hot of “shaming.”
“Shaming” is another cringe-inducing word. We use it for every unwanted reaction anybody gets to anything, any criticism, any opinion that differs from our own.
“Body shaming” can mean anything from outright harassment and bullying of another person because you do not like their figure, to simply stating a preference. These are very different things. Harassment and bullying is never acceptable. If somebody doesn’t find another person’s body appealing, they need to go look at someone else, and leave that person alone. But they are allowed to go look at that other person. People are allowed to have tastes in who they find attractive and unattractive, and to respectfully state those preferences.
I find thick men hot. That’s my ideal body type on a man. There are a few skinny guys who are hot, but they could stand to gain a little. Muscular bodies are a huge turn off to me.
The women I look up to as beauty ideals are all thick/full figured. I don’t admire skinny/slender bodies on women. I want to look like Kirsten Vangsness, Amy Schumer, and plus-sized models Emily Walden, Rebecca Darling, and London Andrews, not a Victoria’s Secret model.
There. And everybody…including all those slender women and muscular men who aren’t trying to impress me anyway, are just fine.
Following all our proclamations about how hot we are just the way we are with our new weight loss diets.
I am down to exactly two plus-size YouTubers to follow, and one of those I only follow to see what it’s like to be someone so completely opposite of me in every way except for body type. Every time I follow a channel, blog, or even Facebook page by a plus-sized woman, it starts out with a focus on being healthy, happy, and confident at whatever size and shape she is. A few weeks later, and we get “My new weight loss miracle plan! How I went from a size 20 to a size 2! I feel so much better now!”
I would have much more respect for someone who says, “I am plus-sized, and it’s not the body size and shape I feel is best suited to me, so I am going to change that,” from the start than someone who pretends to be thrilled with their figure, tells all plus-sized women we should be thrilled with our figures too, and then turns around and send the message, “Not anymore! We all value slender bodies now!”
Expecting people to be shocked when we eat healthy food or do something else to improve our mental or physical well-being.
Everyone needs to exercise and eat a decent amount of healthy food. It doesn’t matter what size and shape you are and what size and shape you like. We all have bones, muscles, and internal organs that need nutrients and exercise to function properly, and what we eat and do impacts our mental health as well.
For the past two years, I have kept myself on a low sugar diet. The diet is to prevent diabetes and manage my depression and fatigue from impairments that caused a mild physical disability. I changed my diet after years of overindulgence in sugar, most of which I did when I was much thinner. I have no desire to be smaller than a size 16/18. I just don’t want to give myself health problems or drop at four in the afternoon.